This is become way too complicated. And by this, I mean men. Or..boys? Males. Whatever.

You try to find a good guy to date, maybe to like a little bit – all he wants to do is get in your pants and doesn’t give a rats ass about you.

You find a guy that you just want to have fun with and have sex with – he won’t put out.

And somehow in the end you end up being the baffled, crazy girl.

All I was looking for was a guy that I could get along with, hang out with sometimes, get drunk with, and do other things with. Apparently its impossible. The one guy that I actually like won’t just deal with the fact that we are, in his words, so compatible and perfect. And the one guy that I just want to have random no-strings-attached fun with doesn’t understand that I just want to treat him like every other guy friend I’ve ever had, except with an extra benefits package.

In conclusion, I’ve decided to give up on dating and men until I’m in my 30s. Not saying I’ll stick to it for that long, but I’ll definitely stick to it for a while.

I have this probably very unhealthy obsession with Mr. Big. In my eyes, he’s perfect. Which if you know the relationship he and Carrie had, that statement could be a little crazy.

Yes he broke her heart, a few times too many. And sometimes he was a jerk, sometimes he just plain jerked her around. But he always came back.

Mr. Big was by no means a perfect man. He wasn’t at all prince charming – just like every real life guy out there. This is why I just love him so much. He made mistakes, he fucked up, he broke hearts and promises, he did things wrong, but he always made a point to make things right. And even at his worst, he never failed to let her know that he cared about her.

But somehow, even with all the faults that Mr. Big has, faults that I am willing to accept in a real man, I can’t seem to find a guy in the world who can be half of what Mr. Big is. This character has given me false expectations. Somehow I thought it was slightly realistic, ya know, “He isn’t perfect, but he makes everything worth it”. NOPE! I was wrong!

Apparently every guy in my life just ISN’T perfect, and there’s no trade off for it. No being sweet, or cute, or at least trying to woo me for half a minute. And worst of all, no admitting…for just one second…that I actually matter at all.

I was willing to lower the bar – from Disney status, to Big status. But I don’t think I can let myself get any lower than that. Realize, I don’t think any girl expects a perfect man, because none of us are perfect either. All I really want is an honest effort…to be true, to yourself, me, and both of our hearts.

All I REALLY want is my own Mr. Big.

You know, its been a long time since I’ve been on a date. And I mean a REAL date. Not .. ‘hey, we’re hanging out because you’re cool and maybe we’ll get some ass at the end of the night’ type of things.

I really do want to go on a legit date though. I’m craving it. Why not put some class back into this whole dating scene. These days everything is so relaxed and whimmy, maybe we should all adopt a few old fashioned trends.

I’d like to go have dinner. Have a good conversation. Do something cute. Go to a museum? I’ve been wanting to go to the observatory lately. Or even the Getty. Maybe have a picnic in a park. Or as cliche as it is, dinner and a movie!

I want to dress up, and be cute. I would like to feel those butterflies in my stomach as the time gets closer. I want to be swept off my feet, even if its only for one night. I want to see that chivalry still exists, somewhere in the world. It doesn’t have to be ALL the time, just once in a while. And the best part..that goodnight kiss. What happened to the goodnight kiss?

Is it too much to ask to have a good conversation, with a guy you really like, somewhere other than a club?